I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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