Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
