what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
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