If i come over, it means nothing
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
