And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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