john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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