so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize
