he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
