Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
