bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
