i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
