i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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