I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
