Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
