he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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