i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
