My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
