I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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