her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
