this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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