Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
