ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I just found a bag of teeth...
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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