I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize
