We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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