Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
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