so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
