You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
