wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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