just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
im about as happy as oj after his trial
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
