AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
