After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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