Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
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