Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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