Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
