Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
