before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
