Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
