Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
tell your sister to shave her snatch
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
We just shotgunned beers for America
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
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