Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
