how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
