Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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