Dual....:-)
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
