Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
