we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
