how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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