I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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