I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
We need to get me chipped asap
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
