mondays should just be called national damage control day
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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