Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Randomize
