At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
