help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
