this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
